{"id":186,"date":"2017-06-23T02:28:06","date_gmt":"2017-06-23T02:28:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?p=186"},"modified":"2017-06-24T02:59:50","modified_gmt":"2017-06-24T02:59:50","slug":"shazam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?p=186","title":{"rendered":"Shazam!"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_187\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-187\" style=\"width: 660px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/06\/shazam.png\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"187\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?attachment_id=187\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/06\/shazam.png?fit=1456%2C2250&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1456,2250\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-title=\"shazam\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Real Talk:  I know you&amp;#8217;re looking at my post-transformation package. There is no way to win with something like that &amp;#8211; there would be comments if I drew it big. There would be jokes made if I drew it big. There would be jokes made if I drew it small. The point is, stop looking at my post-transformation package, you pervs.&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/06\/shazam.png?fit=660%2C1019&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-large wp-image-187\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/06\/shazam-663x1024.png?resize=660%2C1019\" alt=\"\" width=\"660\" height=\"1019\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/06\/shazam.png?resize=663%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 663w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/06\/shazam.png?resize=194%2C300&amp;ssl=1 194w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/06\/shazam.png?resize=768%2C1187&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/06\/shazam.png?w=1456&amp;ssl=1 1456w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/06\/shazam.png?w=1320&amp;ssl=1 1320w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 660px) 100vw, 660px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-187\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Real Talk: I <em>know<\/em> you&#8217;re looking at my post-transformation package. There is no way to win with something like that. There would be jokes made if I drew it big. There would be jokes made if I drew it small. The point is, stop looking at my post-transformation package, you pervs.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p><!-- OpenDoorComics --><br \/>\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\" style=\"display: block;\" data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-9581540985996689\" data-ad-slot=\"4540459023\" data-ad-format=\"auto\"><\/ins><br \/>\n<script>\n(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\n<\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","hentry","category-alleged-humor","post_format-post-format-image"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s6Jh90-shazam","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":405,"url":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?p=405","url_meta":{"origin":186,"position":0},"title":"Oh, Trump and ERDOGAN","author":"Jon Maki","date":"November 17, 2018","format":"image","excerpt":"Yeah, that makes more sense than Trump and Etrigan. Still, my quick glance and misread of a tweet made for a more interesting visual... Gone! Gone, the form of - yeah, just go already, will ya? I have to start paying more attention, to what I'm looking at, I guess.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Alleged Humor&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Alleged Humor","link":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?cat=5"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/11\/EtriganTrump.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/11\/EtriganTrump.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/11\/EtriganTrump.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/11\/EtriganTrump.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1159,"url":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?p=1159","url_meta":{"origin":186,"position":1},"title":"That&#8217;s The Strangest Thing","author":"Jon Maki","date":"December 26, 2025","format":"image","excerpt":"\"Is that what you call me? *Sniff* What other kinds of names are you calling me behind my back?\" I'm sure this joke has been made a million times, but instead of going out and looking for another instance of it I decided my time would be better spent making\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Alleged Humor&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Alleged Humor","link":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?cat=5"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/12\/vecna.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/12\/vecna.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/12\/vecna.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2025\/12\/vecna.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":192,"url":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?p=192","url_meta":{"origin":186,"position":2},"title":"Internet Comment Threads Are Made Out Of Sheeple!","author":"Jon Maki","date":"July 3, 2017","format":"image","excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Alleged Humor&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Alleged Humor","link":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?cat=5"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/07\/soylent-1024x377.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/07\/soylent-1024x377.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2017\/07\/soylent-1024x377.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":899,"url":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?p=899","url_meta":{"origin":186,"position":3},"title":"Whenever We Go Out, The People Always Shout, &#8220;Do You Bleed?&#8221;","author":"Jon Maki","date":"February 9, 2024","format":"image","excerpt":"We like to keep things topical here. Yes, it's been years since my last post, but it says \"infrequent\" right on the tin. I'm sure someone else has made this joke, but I saw something last night that made this occur to me, so I had to come in and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Alleged Humor&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Alleged Humor","link":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?cat=5"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/02\/thatname.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":105,"url":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?p=105","url_meta":{"origin":186,"position":4},"title":"You Can Do It","author":"Jon Maki","date":"August 29, 2016","format":"image","excerpt":"(Click on image to expand) Update in 2018: At this point, it's been eighteen years. I've made it this far. You can make it, too. Update in 2019: It's now been nineteen years. Yes, I'm too lazy to make a new one to mark the occasion, but the point still\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;PSA&quot;","block_context":{"text":"PSA","link":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?cat=22"},"img":{"alt_text":"So Can You","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/08\/socanyou-1024x1001.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/08\/socanyou-1024x1001.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2016\/08\/socanyou-1024x1001.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":391,"url":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?p=391","url_meta":{"origin":186,"position":5},"title":"Wait, Stars AND Stripes?","author":"Jon Maki","date":"September 8, 2018","format":"image","excerpt":"If you really want to know how diversity is strength, maybe try looking up \"consanguinity\" sometime... \"...the emblem of the land I love, the home of the free and the brave?\" Ugh, again with the forced diversity. Pick one thing, you weaklings! Why did Betsy Ross have to be such\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Politics&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Politics","link":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/?cat=52"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/09\/diversity.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/09\/diversity.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/09\/diversity.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/09\/diversity.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/09\/diversity.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=186"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":190,"href":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186\/revisions\/190"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=186"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=186"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.opendoor-comics.com\/journey\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=186"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}