Paneling: Superman’s Girl Friend Lois Lane #14

Yesterday on Bluesky I saw a panel that frequently pops up on social media because out of context it’s a bit saucy.

But the thing about the last panel on the 5th page is that it gets even weirder when you put it in context.

The panel comes from the first story – which is not the cover story – of this January 1960 issue.

“Three Nights in the Fortress of Solitude!” tells the tale of Lois tricking Superman into letting her stay in his Fortress for three nights in an attempt to prove that it can be a safe home for her which would allow them to get married without fear of his enemies getting at him by attacking her.

She does this by “accidentally” exposing herself to the “star rays” produced by one of Superman’s super-telescopes while she’s visiting the Fortress to take pictures of the latest wonders contained therein for The Daily Planet.

The effect of the “star rays” is that for the next three days exposure to direct sunlight will cause her to disintegrate. Thus, the only way to keep her safe is to keep her inside the Fortress until the effects wear off.

This gives her time to snoop around when Superman’s away dealing with Superman stuff while also attempting to avoid getting out of any further trouble so as to prove just how safe she would be living there.

Of course, nothing quite works out the way she plans, and Lois is ultimately eager for her three days to be up and to get the chance to go home.

One of the things that goes wrong is a sudden breeze causing her to fall out of the anti-gravity bed she’s sleeping in and to bump into the Superman robot that’s standing guard. The bump causes it to malfunction and gives us the panel that precedes the notorious panel, and we see just what it is that the robot did to her.

Still a bit on the kinky side, but tamer than what some of you perverts were probably thinking.

However, that’s not all the context, as we find out at the end that Superman had quickly caught on to Lois’s scheme and had taken surreptitious action to make her stay at the Fortress unbearable, including delivering a spanking by proxy.

But even that doesn’t provide the full context.

As documented by Tim Hanley in his excellent book Investigating Lois Lane: The Turbulent History of The Daily Planet’s Ace Reporter, many of the kids who read the comics viewed Lois as a childlike figure, with Superman being the parental figure.

More to the point, they viewed her as a misbehaving child, one who, just as they themselves got whenever they misbehaved, needed a good spanking.

They even voted on it.

The Superman Robot delivering a spanking – even at Superman’s direction – was an attempt to give the readers what they wanted while allowing Superman himself to (mostly) remain a gentleman.

But the kids weren’t having it. The robo-spanking didn’t scratch their itch.

They wanted a proper Story of (L)O(is), dammit!

Ultimately, Weisinger – Mort Weisinger, the editor of the Superman family of books – just tired of the whole thing, and the kids never got the proto-Fifty Shades of Grey story that they so eagerly demanded.

Really, spanking was more of a Batman thing.

In any case, I’d say it’s a safe bet that Grant Morrison drew some inspiration from “Three Nights in the Fortress of Solitude!” for one of the issues of All-Star Superman.

Also, if you’re at all a fan of Lois Lane – regardless of where you land on the question of if she should get a spanking – I definitely recommend checking out Investigating Lois Lane. It’s a great examination of one of the greatest characters in comics, though you should know that most of it isn’t about spanking, which may make you more or less inclined to check it out. (I’m not judging.)

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