Reread: Wonder Woman #7

This one is a little different from most. A post from Comics in the Golden Age on Bluesky reminded me of something I posted on Facebook back in 2016, so I thought I’d share it here as a Reread.

While the story is from Wonder Woman vol. 1 #7, I read it here:

Wonder Woman: A Celebration of 75 Years

#1HC

Release: Sep 28, 2016

Celebrate over seven decades of the awe-inspiring Wonder Woman, from early years as one of the first female superheroes in the comics industry, to today. This character has seen countless waves of feminism in her time as one of DC’s favorite heroes, what better way to honor her than by collecting the best Wonder Woman stories!

Creators

Writer	Gardner Fox, Amanda Deibert, Amy Chu, Alex De Campi, Dennis O’Neil, Alice Marble, Robert Kanigher, William Messner-Loebs, William Moulton Marston, Eric Luke, George Pérez, Greg Potter, Roy Thomas, Darwyn Cooke, Greg Rucka, Brian Azzarello, Gail Simone, Phil Jiménez
Artist	Bernard Baily, Ben Flinton, Neil Googe, Stan Aschmeier, Jack Burnley, Ethan Van Sciver, Cliff Young, Harry G. Peter, Mike Deodato Jr., Gene Colan, Mike Sekowsky, Everett E. Hibbard, Cat Staggs, J. Bone, Darwyn Cooke, Sheldon Moldoff, Bernard Chang, Cliff Chiang
Cover Artist	Adam Hughes, Cliff Chiang, Darwyn Cooke, Brian Bolland, George Pérez, Ethan Van Sciver, Harry G. Peter, Mike Deodato Jr., Mike Sekowsky, Everett E. Hibbard
Cover Penciller	Shane Davis, Irwin Hasen, Don Heck, Ross Andru, Gene Colan
Cover Inker	Bernard Sachs, Mike Esposito, Dick Giordano, Michelle Delecki
Cover Colorist	Alex Sinclair, Brian Miller
Penciller	Drew Johnson, Ross Andru, Jill Thompson, Don Heck, Matthew Clark, George Pérez, Paul Reinman, Dave Bullock, Phil Jiménez, Yanick Paquette
Inker	Andy Lanning, Dick Giordano, Ray Snyder, Bruce D. Patterson, Paul Reinman, Doug Hazlewood, Michael Cho, Sam Burlockoff, Bob McLeod, Romeo Tanghal, Denis Rodier, Mike Esposito
Colorist	Brian Miller, Trish Mulvihill, Len O’Grady, Wendy Fouts-Broome, Carrie Strachan, Matt Wilson, Tatjana Wood, Nansi Hoolahan, John Rauch, Dave Stewart, Carl Gafford
Letterer	John Costanza, Ben Oda, Saida Temofonte, Comicraft, Todd Klein, Jared K. Fletcher
Editor	Jessica Chen, Jason Hernandez-Rosenblatt, Eddie Berganza, Jack Miller, Matt Idelson, Sheldon Mayer, Chris Conroy, Robert Kanigher, Dan DiDio, Len Wein, Karen Berger, Kristy Quinn, Paul Kupperberg, Ivan Cohen, Dan Thorsland
Editor in Chief	Dan DiDio

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Here’s the post as it appeared on Facebook:

Picked up “Wonder Woman: A Celebration of 75 Years,” which collects a sampling of WW stories from the beginning to the modern era.

I read an early adventure – from 1943 – in which an excited WW is enthusing to her mother about how er, “wonderful” America is because – and it’s unclear how she knows this – a woman will be President. In 3004. (I know that there are many who believe that this is STILL too soon.)

Her mother, Hyppolyte, wants to dampen her enthusiasm a bit. Not because 1,061 years is a long time to have to wait – Amazons are immortal after all – but because that woman may not have an iron grip on power, having failed to fully implement the VAGENDA OF MANOCIDE, and could be defeated in an election by a man. WW doesn’t buy it, so they consult Hyppolyte’s Magic Sphere to see how things might play out in the distant year of 3004.

In the story presented we find, without explanation, that things are pretty much the same as they are now, down to the inclusion of WW (in her civilian guise as Diana Prince) working as a secretary for a general, and we also find that Steve Trevor is present. The only major difference is in how people dress. Diana wears glasses that have some kind of wire attached to them to make them look all future-y, and Steve is wearing a snazzy little sleeveless lime green number with “US” written on it in yellow letters, along with matching lime green short-shorts and a yellow cape.

The dialogue indicates that these are not descendants of the originals or fictionalized versions, but the same characters that we, the readers, already know, STILL ALIVE in the year 3004. Somehow. (Diana, whose Amazonian heritage at least explains HER presence, makes a reference to Steve smoking the pipe he used to smoke in the 20th Century).

We learn that a Professor Manly has been speaking out and inspiring a movement to return to the more traditionally masculine ways of the past, and has created a Man Party to mount a bid for the Presidency in the upcoming election.

Manly is also suspected of having ties to some sort of criminal organization that has been manufacturing guns, which are illegal (SEE? They warned us that it was coming! It just took 1,000 years for it to happen!), but no one has proof of this.

Except for an operative of the government who has come to Diana with proof, only to be killed by an illegal gun! Sorry; I meant, only to be killed by a PERSON. A person who, coincidentally, had an illegal gun. Which he fired. At the operative. To kill her. But to be clear, the *gun* was not the killer.

Diana chases the shadow-shrouded killer all the way to the Oval Office, only to find that Prof. Manly and Steve are meeting with the President. Despite Diana’s insistence that he must be the killer, no one believes that Manly killed the operative just minutes earlier, and Diana learns that the meeting with “Mistress President” is to discuss the fact that Steve, with Prof. Manly as his running mate, is going to run for President as the candidate of the Man Party. On the spot – and without consulting her VP pick, or participating in any sort of primary – Diana asserts that she will run for President as the candidate of the Woman Party, with Etta Candy as her running mate.

While the Prince/Candy campaign seems to have broad (no pun intended) support from both women AND men, Trevor/Manly has a lock on the horny young women vote, as they want handsome Steve Trevor to be President…of their hearts.

On election night, in all 48 states – Was this a failure to predict the statehood of Alaska and Hawaii on the author’s part, or is there some state-eliminating event waiting in our future? DUN DUN DUN! – the early results show a landslide victory for Prince/Candy. But the election is RIGGED! Members of the purple-shirted Man Party burst in, overpower, imprison, and replace the vote-counters, and report a final tally showing a victory for Trevor/Manly.

Steve learns that he is only there to be the public face, with his VP doing the *actual* governing. Steve objects to this plan, particularly when the VP demands that Steve produce an Executive Order calling for all of the ballots to be destroyed, so not only does the new administration lock up its election year opponent (Diana, who changes into Wonder Woman and escapes), it also secretly locks up the President.

Locked up with the real vote-counters, Steve learns that he really lost the election, and attempts to escape, but is put in a death trap by Prof. Manly. He’s rescued in time by Wonder Woman, who, as a result of defeating the death trap, needs to be saved by Etta, whom she summoned using “mental radio.”

And in the end, all is set right. Diana, a secret Pagan who is not only not a natural-born citizen, but in fact isn’t natural-born AT ALL, and can’t produce a birth certificate because she was molded out of clay and brought to life by the gods, becomes President.

Back in 1943, WW is thrilled to learn that a man CAN’T win, though she does feel bad for Steve. Hyppolyte points out that there is no room for pity in the VAGENDA OF MANOCIDE and that men are happier when their strong, aggressive natures are kept in check by wise, loving women.

Besides, maybe Steve can just start his own TV network or something.

So, in summation, the bizarre, nonsensical story of the Presidential Election of 3004 *still* makes more sense than the *actual* Presidential Election of 2016.

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