TO OUR AUDIENCE
The “What Did Gail Do Now?” (1-800-GAIL-BEAR) site was launched in Q3 of 2021 to hold Gail Simone – writer, trickster god, and bear pretending to be a redheaded human woman – accountable, to the extent that it is possible, for the humorous horrors she inflicts daily on her Twitter audience and the world at large.
The site does not have – and does not want – any type of enforcement mechanism and exists entirely for the purpose of having fun, giving people who have been “victimized” by Gail’s hilarity the opportunity to vent, and serving as a curated listing of some of her greatest hits.
In 2021, the site received 25 violation reports, a number that has nearly doubled in the first quarter of 2022.
1-800-GAIL-BEAR is not-for-profit site financed by the profits of OpenDoor Comics, of which there are none.
There are no plans to monetize the operation of the site. However, there is a mechanism for proving support through donations, and visitors to the site do have the opportunity to visit the parent site, opendoor-comics.com, as well as its other sub-sites, which do feature minimal, unobtrusive advertising, which is the primary, mostly theoretical source of revenue for the OpenDoor Comics platform.
While Gail assaults the world virtually every day – often multiple times – the volume of violation reports has not kept pace. As things stand, this is a small mercy, given that the operation of 1-800-GAIL-BEAR is managed entirely by one person who has a separate full-time job and is incredibly lazy and unmotivated and just started the whole thing as a joke anyway.
As noted in the Financial Highlights, there are no finances to summarize.
- 1-800-GAIL-BEAR has no mechanism for generating revenue
- OpenDoor Comics does have mechanisms for generating revenue:
- There is not enough traffic to generate advertising revenue
- PayPal donations
- No one sees any value in donating
- There are no patrons
What follows is a high-level breakdown of the types of Violation Reports the site received in 2021.
|Gail has caused you to think about something you do not wish to think about
|Gail has found a new and novel way to choose violence
|Gail is up to shenanigans
|Gail is presenting information that seems fakey but might be a true
Highlights and Observations
- Three of the 25 reports are related to Gail’s insistence on “confusing” Monica and Mafalda and sparking an international incident.
- As is her nature as a trickster who enjoys gloating over the psychic damage she causes, Gail has frequently tweeted out links to 1-800-GAIL-BEAR like a criminal taunting her victims and daring someone to try to stop her.
- She even appears to have made use of the site’s reporting function herself.
- Much of the damage Gail causes is compounded by the efforts of other participants who follow her lead:
Gail wants Cheddar to have a series and is offering up names. This is the best idea and should be instantly followed by everyone who loves corgis, but also…. puns. Oh God. Puns. So many puns. Puns on puns on puns….
She’s starting hashtags again that are going to haunt my thoughts all day and I’m *trying* to do productive things!
Beware: the puns are real.
Gail is saying that if Cyclops’ visor looked like a butt, it’d look like the beams were coming out his ‘dumper’.
People have *drawn art* of this already.
- No one is safe, especially when she gets a taste of her own medicine.
The site is likely to receive updates to appearance and functionality as time and energy allow. The latter point indicating that such updates will tend to be minimal. One likely addition will be the creation of a Twitter account for the site, which will automatically tweet links to new Submitted Reports as they are posted on the site. This will occur when the lazy and unmotivated person maintaining 1-800-GAIL-BEAR gets around to it.
UPDATE: The 1-800-GAIL-BEAR Twitter account is now live.
Beyond that, Gail Simone will undoubtedly continue to metaphorically maul her way through social media with jokes, horrifyingly hilarious hashtags, and obscene observations.
As a result, there will always be a need for those who have been impacted by all the fun to have some recourse other than simply crying out “GAIL.” 1-800-GAIL-BEAR will be there to provide that recourse.
While it should go without saying, it will be said quite clearly: This is all in fun. Gail is utterly hilarious, and it’s always amazing to watch her create trending topics– even though Twitter won’t verify her – and those of us who are exposed to her quirky and sometimes gross (and funny) tweets are there because we adore her. She’s brilliant writer, a master troll who rightly makes gatekeeping jerks get bent out of shape and show the world their entire asses, and she frequently makes herself a target of ire to provide cover for the more vulnerable. Mixed in with the jokes and horrifying mental images are fun and engaging and emotionally moving storytime threads.
She makes the hell that is the bird site so much livelier and more engaging, and despite our dismay, we wouldn’t change a thing.
In short, Gail is a sweet, kind, inspiring, and giving person, which is made all the more remarkable by the fact that she’s actually a bear.
Click here to view/download a PDF version of the 2021 Annual Report