In the chaotic and turbulent environment that Twitter has become since being purchased by store-brand Tony Stark who seems to be doing his best to destroy the platform, Gail Simone has managed to thrive, as chaos is her natural habitat. And Elon is a fool if he thinks he can destroy it, given that Gail hasn’t managed it yet.
Thus, the need to report on her mischief and merry-making remains as vital as it was when the site first launched.
Financial Highlights
1-800-GAIL-BEAR is a not-for-profit site financed by the profits of OpenDoor Comics, of which there are none.
There are, however, hosting expenses, with 2022 seeing the addition of expense of registering the 1800gailbear.com domain, which redirects to the site hosted on OpenDoor Comics and simplifies finding the site and sharing the link.
Users are encouraged, but not required, to look into the various methods available to financially support OpenDoor Comics.
Operating Highlights
Perhaps owing to the overwhelming chaos of Twitter, the volume of reports received dropped precipitously early in the year, with only one violation reported in the fourth quarter.
It is also possible that the creation of the official @1800GAILBEAR Twitter account led to some confusion, as many users simply tag the account with whatever hilarious atrocity Gail commits rather than visiting the site to officially report a violation.
“In the chaotic and turbulent environment that Twitter has become since being purchased by store-brand Tony Stark, Gail Simone has managed to thrive, as chaos is her natural habitat.”
FINANCIAL SUMMARY
As noted in the Financial Highlights, there are no finances to summarize.
1-800-GAIL-BEAR has no mechanism for generating revenue
OpenDoor Comics does have mechanisms for generating revenue:
In the fourth quarter, 1-800-GAIL-BEAR gained a sibling site, Comics Unbagged
The site features “conversations” about comics
Long-form articles on a specific comic (“Unbaggings”)A weekly listing of comics purchased from a comic shopPeriodic “Mail Call” posts showcasing comics and comics-related items purchased online or through crowdfunding
It would be neat if people checked it out
While the expense is minimal, there is a cost associated with the 1800gailbear.com domain
This is in addition to the overall domain name and hosting costs of the parent site
VIOLATION REPORTS
What follows is a high-level breakdown of the types of Violation Reports the site received in 2022.
Totals
Row Labels
Count
Gail is up to shenanigans
14
Gail has caused you to think about something you do not wish to think about
12
Gail has found a new and novel way to choose violence
7
Gail is presenting information that seems fakey but might be a true
3
Gail is telling stories again
2
Grand Total
38
Highlights and Observations
There was a 156% increase in the number of reports filed in 2022 compared to 2021
The site was launched in the third quarter of 2021
The site was busiest in the first half of 2022, with only two reports received after May
At this time, there has not been a new report since 10/17/2022
The Violation Type “Gail is telling stories again” was added in 2022
Several violations involved music:
SHE SAID THE CLASH IS A GRUNGE BAND!!
From the amount of flames she’s garnering on this one, she may be edging into another banger incident: she wondered if Tears For Fears had any other hits than Shout.
She rewrote California Dreamin’ and Twitter is out for blood.
Proving that no one is safe from the bear, Gail has even turned her attention to beloved children’s television characters:
Even the Great Old Ones are not safe from the Trickster God:
Part of the danger of letting Gail’s behavior proceed unchecked lies in the way in which she encourages others to join in the chaos:
AND PEOPLE’S REPLIES ARE MAKING IT WORSE!
The audience participation is the *most* painful part of it. AND SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE’S DOING!
She’s making me, and everyone else, debate over which is the most edible Muppet.
She’s got people discussing Silver Surfer’s flamboyant flatulence.
She’s saying Con Air is the most plausible movie ever made. Which is patently false, yet….I hate that Gail has said this, because it actually made me sit back and compare it to other movies. I … *think* she’s stirring up hijinx, but I DON’T KNOW FOR SURE AND IT HURTS ME A LITTLE. And I can’t escape the images because people are drawing scary art!
There is always the haunting fear that you will be the next unwitting victim with whom Gail initiates a blood feud:
She has ended one blood feud, but is looking for another one. I wasn’t sure if that was shenanegans or violence, but feuds usually invlolve the latter, so it seemed accurate. As of yet, she hasn’t chosen me; she does not seem to know I am her secret enemy, sending her data to this website. I fear I will be discovered…
And in summary:
She had a lot to do, so she condensed all her Gail’ness down into one Tweet. Thus managing to tick off all the boxes (except one).
I’m trying to finish two projects this morning so hopefully this will tide everyone over for a bit:
Gambit Narc Cyclops Heat Vision Kaiju Taint Yoda Bang Legolas Pubes Punisher Smiles Olicity Bonerses Arrow Expert Smarg Loves Cup BeckyCon British Method Mafalda Monica
It seems clear that some of the novelty of the site has worn off, though it’s also clear that Gail is not slowing down in her efforts to mentally scar anyone who happens to stumble upon her timeline – it is, after all, Gail’s timeline, and we just live in it – or to click on one of the hashtags she’s managed to set to trending.
Still, as noted in last year’s report, it’s probably just as well that there is not a report filed for every instance of Gail choosing violence or telling stories, as there is just one lazy person with a full-time job who’s also making a quarter-assed effort to follow a vision for sharing his love of comics with the world running the thing.
There is also the possibility that people see no value in reporting Gail, given that the site has no power to stop her. If there are no real consequences that will follow from reporting her horrifying hijinks, what’s the point in doing it at all?
The question to ask in response to that is, “Who needs a point when all you’re trying to do is have some fun?”
